Generational Learning

My father was trained as an engineer in Mainland China back in the 1940’s.  He got caught up in the conflict between the Communists and Nationalists — both sides tried to recruit him to spy on the other side, and so he’s like, I don’t want any part of this.   So he borrowed some money from a friend and got on a boat to the US.  Left his parents and siblings and came to America knowing nobody.  I don’t know a lot of the details because he kept a lot of this to himself.  Even my mom only knows some of it. 

He started working in a Chinese restaurant in San Francisco until he could get more money and figure out what to do.  Eventually he got work as an engineer here, but it was always difficult.  He had a heavy accent, his English wasn’t great, and he didn’t know the culture.  I didn’t observe it firsthand but I can imagine the office dynamics. You know, here’s the main group, they’re talking. Here’s a guy who doesn’t understand the jokes, doesn’t watch the ball games the night before and doesn’t speak up much in meetings. And so, you know, he gets ignored a little bit.  And when cuts need to be made, guess who loses his job?   We moved around every couple of years as my father went from job to job.

So moving around I’m always the new kid and usually the only Asian kid. Lots of kids wanted to pick a fight.  I had to figure out how to adjust.  I figured out that if you can play sports and outplay the other kids, well you could fit in a little bit better.  I played street hockey every day after school for many years.  I was fascinated with the hurdles. So I built hurdles in the backyard, and taught myself how to run hurdles. In Junior high I never lost a race.  That made life easier.

Now I’m an engineer like my dad was.  I think about the things that my dad went through and that influences me. I make it a point to notice people and things and use that to connect. Recently I was interviewing for a job and the VP wanted to do a phone interview.  I told him I want to meet face-to-face, not over the phone.  So I go into his office, he’s late and I’m sitting there and I notice there’s a framed hockey stick on the wall.  I look closely and it’s signed by Gordie Howe.  I comment on it and we spend the first 10-15 minutes of our interview talking about playing street hockey and the NHL back in the 70’s. 

I believe that everybody needs to know how to do marketing. You don’t have to do marketing for the product, the company, but you got to market yourself — represent what you’re doing and let people know who you are.   I tell coworkers, especially the Asian ones,  that you have to speak up in meetings.  Don’t be a bump on the log.